MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL, DO YOU REALLY KNOW ME AT ALL?

written by: Ange Cleary, Style Mentor 45+

OVERVIEW - A conversation on struggling with middle aged physical and emotional changes, personal style and undoing all the previous programming about who you are, your self worth, beauty standards and taking back your power.

Does my bum look big in this? well, maybe? but.......maybe it doesn’t. Simple fact is who am I or you or anybody else for that matter to say so. It’s just an opinion and everybody has one of those but the truth is, there is never ever a correct answer when it comes to matters of opinion. This conversation with you is literally an opinion.

For decades we have been programming ourselves to beauty standards and ideals that are arguably false and seemingly complicated. Let’s flash back our foggy mid-life brain to the Farrah Fawcett flicks, or the bad ass boss babes of Charlies Angels. The three glamorous women with perfect hair and barbie doll figures. Even though in our modern society we are ridiculing and pointing the finger at filters, social media and plastic surgery, I agree it’s beyond unrealistic but our patterns of unrealistic beauty standards started way back.

From as young as three years old we are programming our mind set and mirror reflection to a standard of what society, media, family, friends or our inner voice believed was the ideal or “accepted”. Fast forward through the years and we now have multi-tech platforms plus the entourage of our thoughts still telling us how we should look, age, dress or eat. This era we have the crazy beauty standards of the Kardashian clan. Might I add a very clever and successful business formula, but a little damaging to the vulnerable. Can we also take a minute to observe the overload of images recently of Demi Moore swanning her way around in magnificent couture and a team of professionals making her look red carpet primed and insta reel ready. At 61 is this our mid-life role model ladies? Don't get me wrong she is clearly lovely and like all of us I imagine comes with her own programming, but once again a fabricated, altered version of how we should age or aspire to look. Is it though? she certainly is a beautiful piece of artwork. Manipulated, shaped, moulded and framed into a masterpiece that would be very hard to replicate on an average budget, lack of star status and resources. Without sounding bitter because I am not here to judge but much like art - beauty is subjective, like an opinion there are millions, but let’s circle back to YOU.

Have a little ponder on this….. Our greatest value in life is time, youth has the perception of time so therefore youth is valued over someone who doesn’t have as much of this valuable time. Without sounding morbid it’s just as simple as that. If we shifted the needle and started to understand the value of time and the perception of not having enough or perhaps having plenty of it.

Wanting to look youthful or young is purely a perception of going back in time where you believed you had more of it. Time to earn money, time to build a family, time to find the perfect partner, time to secure the perfect job and so on. It’s actually a lot less visual and more subliminal based than you think. Don’t get caught up in other peoples narrative or allow the fashion industry or media to dictate who you are or what you’re worth. Clinging to the past, a job identity, financial status, social media validation or comparison to others will keep you stuck in time. This becomes a habit stack and you will ultimately end up shutting down your ability to shine and adapt to change. Resilience and change are so important for personal growth and self love. Our greatest asset in life is self love and without it you will question everything from your worth, your visibility, your style and value as a person. You will ultimately end up morphing into some sort of alter ego version of yourself.

Energy is in everything from your thoughts to your wardrobe. The words you speak to yourself are some of the most powerful words that will shape your mindset, confidence, inner peace and overall self worth. Patterns in your wardrobe play out in your life. Trauma gets stored and you may start to have negative thoughts like ”This will do” “I don’t deserve this” “I need to dilute myself” ‘I need to blend in”. This is the generational programming that is passed down through the decades to you and beyond you to other family members surrounding to have a profound impact on the structure of your personal beliefs.

There are so many layers to you as a person and nothing is set in stone. Dig deep and start to approach life as your own story. You’re the writer, the director and the star. You can rewrite, re-script and adapt at any stage. When you unlock your personal power and believe you are worthy you set a standard for yourself and others. Think of yourself as a blank piece of canvas ebbing and flowing through all these colourful chapters of your life. At any time in life you can create a new style, mindset and attract what you open your heart to and direct your energy towards. It’s time to shift your inner narrative to uplifting, kind and loving words and notice the change when you observe and ask yourself next time your standing in front of the mirror, Who am I?

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING YOUR VALUABLE TIME OUT TO READ THIS AND I HOPE IF NOTHING ELSE IT PROVOKES THOUGHT AND REFLECTION.